Controlling Stress

One thing Hope Yoga Studio's instructors are always reminding us is that we are the ones in control of our minds. We dwell on the past and stress about the future, when what we really need to do is let it go. The past is over, and the future isn't here yet - and this brings us to the never ending effort to stay present. But what happens if your present moment is overwhelming or stressful?

One thing I have repetitively told myself lately is this: things are only stressful if you allow them to be. This one little sentence may not seem like much, but it has helped tremendously. When both kids are screaming and I feel my tolerance plummet and my blood pressure rise, instead of lashing out and yelling (or crying), I take a moment to myself, breathe, and say aloud: things are only stressful if I allow it to be. These 10 little words completely level me, and I can then think with a clear mind - "Lyla missed her nap today. Hannah is bored in her seat and needs to be held" - Okay. I move forward, and do what needs to be done. Maybe Lyla needs a few minutes in her room alone to calm down - and now, I can tell her to do so calmly instead of lashing out, frustrated.

I use this sentence to help me get through the day, being the best mother/wife/person I can be. Anytime something isn't going as preferred or planned, it helps me take it for what it is, and move on. My best days are days where I feel I was fully present with my girls and husband - and this one sentence helps me reach this goal nearly every day.

Our mind is in our control, and this means stress, frustration, and overwhelming feelings too. Who wants to feel that way, anyway?

Yoga

I splurged and ordered a $70 yoga mat last week. Normally, I have anxiety attacks when I buy ANYTHING for myself because I'm always convinced I don't need it. However, this time, it's not something I thought twice about. Partially because we used our rolled-coin collection to buy it, but mostly because I know how much yoga has helped me. 

The $70 mat may sound extreme, but when you've gone through 2 other ones and slip and slide all over the place when you're supposed to be grounded - it doesn't make for a very yoga-esque mindset. So, I got the highly recommended non-slip pro. There. Justified. 

Anyway. Yoga fucking rocks. No other way to say it. Not only does it allow me to get out of my own head, but it's transformed my body to be more flexible and strong. I sleep better (between feedings), I run better, but best of all - I calm down easier, which has been an essential tool during these rough toddler times. 

I'm not perfect. I lose my cool, I raise my voice. But what yoga has taught me is that it's not about when you have these moments, but how quickly you recover from them. When I'm feeling overwhelmed, I've learned to walk away and focus on my breathing to bring myself back down to neutral. From there, I feel better equipped to deal with the situation at hand. And when I do overreact, I am quick to catch myself. I always find myself apologizing to Lyla when I become frustrated, and then explain why mommy felt that way. I remind myself that things are only stressful and overwhelming if you allow them to be. We create our own anxiety. If I don't want to feel that way, it's a simple as not allowing myself to. But getting out of your own head is, once again, easier said than done - especially in those moments where both kids are crying and everything seems chaotic. 

But yoga has given me the power to control myself, and use my energy where it needs to be, and keep it from where it doesn't. If I dwell on how hard a situation is, or how overwhelmed I feel, then I'm destined to struggle. If I remind myself that this moment will pass, and that tomorrow is a new day, then my glass is half full. Optimistic is the only way to be. 

So come on, Mr. UPS man, and bring me my ridiculously expensive but life saving mat!